Pentecostal Possibilities or "The Story of My Life"
by Milton Lorenzo (M. L.) Haney
CHAPTER 51
End of First Evangelistic Term
I had hoped to have given a fuller account of this first term of evangelistic work, including descriptions of God's work at other points, with the mention of beautiful characters with whom I came in contact, and who greatly helped me; but these are ruled out for want of space. I was called by Hardin Wallace, of precious memory, to aid him in Brooklyn charge, Jacksonville, which was the last meeting of three years. While there, my brother Richard wrote me that the pastor at Galesburg had failed because of sickness, and there were yet five months to Conference. The official board had unanimously requested that I fill that term, and they would give me five hundred dollars and the use of the parsonage. He also, as Presiding Elder, would use his power to continue me there the following year, etc., etc. I had been absent from my young family most of the time, and it was suggested my boys were coming to years when they needed the control of a father. I could put in that five months with my family, and that church knew me, and knew what they were asking for, and this would give me five months of rest from the strain of evangelism. All of which seemed plausible, and looked desirable. I counseled with Bro. Wallace, who was a man of great experience and heavenly wisdom, and with two or three dear saints who were there from Williamsville. I also laid the matter before Sister Rucker, who was close to God; and they all thought it looked as though God was in it. I wrote to my brother, accepting his proposition, and, in case of failure to get there the first Sabbath, I agreed to fill the pulpit with J. W. Stewart, and pay him out of my salary. (Richard had written if I did not accept, that the five months would have to be filled out in Galesburg by Bros. Stewart and Jones preaching there each alternate Sabbath.) On mailing the letter a load came on my soul and it seemed as though God were displeased. I told Sister Rucker my feelings, and said I should ask God, if this plan was of the devil, to break it up, and, going to my home, I pleaded most earnestly to that effect. Not long after another letter came from my brother, saying, he "was profoundly sorry I did not come to Galesburg!" I took the letter to Sister Rucker, saying: "God has answered my prayer." And I felt like a bird let out of its cage! But before leaving Jacksonville my brother came there in person.
While riding with him he opened the subject again by saying: "Milton, I am profoundly sorry you did not come to Galesburg!" Being surprised, I turned and looked him in the face, saying: "Richard, don't you know I squarely accepted your proposition to come to Galesburg, and told you in case of failure to get there the Sabbath you suggested that I would secure Bro. Stewart for that day and pay him out of my salary?" Turning his face from me, he responded: "Milton, if St. Paul was ever called to the Christian ministry, you are called of God to Galesburg." And to this day I have never had any other answer to my question. I doubt whether Richard knew why he wrote me as he did in the second letter, but in some way God had ruled it that way to release me from going to Galesburg and retain me in the work to which He had called me. My brother was a man of great force of speech, and had a powerful influence over me. To that influence I yielded, and leaving the evangelistic field I returned to the pastorate.
My mistakes have been many, and some of them serious, but this was the most serious and greatest of them all.
1. It involved a breach of my vow to God, as I saw plainly afterwards.
2. As the result, I lost what I now recognize as the special gift of faith which came to me because I gave up the pastorate for Christ's sake, for the work of an evangelist, with the understanding that it was to be my life work.
This gift of faith related prominently to two points:
(1). To soul saving. While I had it, there was no failure in any place. Souls were often saved easily, where others thought it well nigh impossible. In the measure I had it, it was to me of more value than a hundred worlds.
(2.) This special gift of faith brought to me a perfect trust in God to supply all my temporal needs.
I am aware of the cant phrases of doubters relating to this subject, and of the bald skepticism of the multitude; but nothing is more certain nor real to me. There was a special reason in my case why the gift of faith should cover the question of my soul toward evangelism, and my shrinking from it was, chiefly, that it looked like beggary. The church had no place for evangelists, and to leave the pastorate without plan, or provision, or place, seemed a leap in the dark. Hence the resort to business plottings outside the ministry to place me in a state of independence, so I could be a self-supporting evangelist. Such undertakings were prospered at times sufficiently to open the way for defeat, and then I would be lifted up as a preparation to sink me out of sight! So, when at last I yielded to God, and entered the work I was further from self-support than ever before! God ordained that they who preach the gospel should live of the gospel, and there was no excuse for my delay. But in the end of years of folly, in utter helplessness, when I threw myself upon Him He made it easy and natural to lean upon His arm, and while doing so I did not have one hour's uneasiness as to the support of myself and family. So it was right when, after all this, I yielded to any power to take me out of evangelistic work into the pastorate, that God should withdraw that precious gift. I plead for its return like Esau for his birthright, but it did not return I have suffered as God only knows, but I adore Him for its withdrawal, and for withholding it. He is right, and that is right! I have known much more of Him since, but it is right that in either time or eternity I should never fill the measure I would have reached in both, had I not violated my covenant and returned to the pastorate. Has he forgiven me for all this? A thousand times yes; but dropped me on a lower plane, as I richly deserved, that I might learn that He is God! The key to all that I have suffered financially, in the past, is found in my delay to enter the field of evangelism, and my failure to continue in it.
I came to Galesburg in a time of increasing business prosperity. It was a period beyond what had then preceded it, of abnormal rush for money. My brother warned me to begin with care, as he knew well the leading thought in that church was not God, but money. I began cautiously to feel my way, but had too much fire within for six months of preliminary preaching. I passed the alphabet and spelling lessons on a run and struck the word holiness before running far. At length I preached a series of sermons Sabbath mornings to the church, and repentance to sinners at night. The fourth or fifth sermon on holiness was most enchanting to my own soul, but old Father Armstrong, and one sister, were all I could see who were in sympathy with this truth. I could feel that the mass of my brethren loathed it. Having preached from Heb. 13:12, I had wonderful views of Christ's sacrifice, and the purpose for which His blood was shed. Father Armstrong's great soul wept and quietly breathed words of praise to God. But the mass of my people closed their hearts against it.
It seemed to me like the fresh murder of my Lord! I went from the pulpit saying in my heart they would not have another opportunity to hear the gospel of holiness from my lips. But God put me through, and before the next Sabbath the old musket was loaded to the muzzle with like material. A few of God's saints got into the fountain here and there, and a straggler returned now and then. Brethren treated me kindly, and there was no open rupture, but the most of them were not in a condition to receive the truth. Dear Sister Wait was a good, solid woman, but quite actively opposed the preaching. We came around to the district camp meeting, and she being a great business woman, ran the boarding house. Saturday night she was fearfully convicted for sanctification and at the altar of prayer in agony of soul, and, sending for my wife, confessed what she had said against my preaching and my wife's testimony, begging us to forgive her and pray for her, and after a fearful struggle she came into glorious victory. Sabbath was her jubilee, and all heaven seemed to have broken loose upon her victorious spirit. There was a great crowd at the tables, and waiting upon them, she would ask: "Would you have coffee? Glory!" "A glass of water? Hallelujah!" "Take some of the fruit. O praise the Lord!" And thus she went through the whole day. Some gracious fruit was gathered during the five months we were in this city, but had I continued as an evangelist, apparently five times more would have been done. The Galesburg church was a body of beautiful people, and many saints have gone to glory from that body. Had I been fully in the order of God doubtless much more could have been done by my ministry, but all that will now have to be left in the hands of the Great Mediator.